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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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But then, the mood shifted. Some fella got too rowdy and spilled his drink all over me. I was like, “Are you serious, mate?” I was ready to throw down, but then I saw the look on his face. He was just as shocked as I was. We ended up laughing it off.

Death Notice of Thomas (Tommy) LIVINGSTONE (Shankill, Dublin)